“Mommy Wars” is a detestable phrase. First, to the extent that we have a problem, it is an “uptown problem”*. Second, I am not convinced we are at war. In fact, when I raise the subject of balancing work and family, most of us are careful about the comments we make in reference to “working moms” and “stay-at-home-moms”. We tiptoe around the subject. We are careful about the statements we make in “mixed company”. Our opinions are kept close to the vest and shared only with intimate friends and family.
I suppose all of this dancing around is good news. It means we are respectful of one another’s choices. It also means we are unsure of our own. Should we consider the language we use? Should we throw it out entirely? Mommy Wars. Stay-at-home moms. Working moms. Work-life balance. Do any of these phrases serve women and men well? Do they serve our children well? When they reach adulthood, will our children consider them outdated? Golly, wouldn’t that be swell?
*Borrowed from the film, “Moneyball”