Re: Saturday Night – DO NOT DELETE
Sent: Mon 5/13/2013 10:19 AM
To: Tyler Gosh
I apologize for my behavior on Saturday night. It was totally unacceptable. I don’t know what got into me.
I just wasn’t prepared to see you – not that I’m making excuses for myself. But it’s only been like five weeks, right? It was just unexpectedly weird to see you. BTW, you look really good. I like the new plaid Oxford.
Obviously, I’d been drinking – not that I’m making excuses for myself. But when I saw you, I’d had like five Buttery Nipples. You know what those do to me. When I first saw you walk in with her, I thought I was totally fine. Katie even asked me if I wanted to leave, and I told her I was cool. I was just going to have one more drink and then head home, because I had brunch with the fam on Sunday, big presentation today, etc.
BTW, my presentation is in like forty minutes. Not like you have any reason to care – but it’s for my boss’ boss, so I’m kind of nervous. Plus I didn’t sleep much last night. Anyway, I wanted to send this message ASAP, so you would know how sorry I am.
My point is: I should have left the bar right when I saw you (with her). But I thought I could handle it. I just wish you hadn’t been standing so close to the bathroom – not that I’m making excuses for myself. I can’t believe I actually said that to her. Of course you don’t have gonorrhea.
Trust me, I didn’t plan to say it. It was not premeditated in any way. But suddenly I was giving you a hug and introducing myself to her – just to be mature and polite – and up to the second before I told her you have gonorrhea, I thought it was all going to be okay. What a dirty thing to say, especially to a girl you don’t know very well. I’m assuming you don’t know her very well, since it’s only been like five weeks. Anyway, I’m sure you cleared it all up.
If you want, you can have her call me. I’ll tell her the truth, I swear. You still have my cell, right? Seriously, have her call me. If you’re still reading this email, also maybe you might forgive me? BTW, I don’t have gonorrhea either. Just to be clear.
Well, I’m off to give that presentation. Picture them all naked, right? I really am sorry.